Eminem's first single in a while, "Crack A Bottle", jumped 77 spots to hit number one on the billboard charts today. Given that, I decided to try it out. My verdict: one giant, epic "meh".
Eminem really hasn't been relevant for a while, and this doesn't change anything in my mind. The hook is decent enough, but everyone involved here just seems bored. "Crack a bottle / Let your body waddle," starts Slim, as if rhyming "bottle" and "waddle" in one's chorus isn't the heinous crime that it actually is. Dre and Fifty sound half asleep throughout their verses. Even the beat sounds like its had one too many tonight and just wants to head to bed.
I feel like this song would sound so much better in a group of wildly drunk college students, so as a 19-year-old post-secondary student and frequent flyer of the booze plane I will probably be subjected to "Crack A Bottle" far more often than I want to. But that's really Eminem's appeal at this point, isn't it? People lose their minds when "Without Me" comes on, but mostly because it's like holy shit, remember when we loved Eminem? In 2009 he's a novelty item, which is why I suspect this song is having such immediate success on the charts.
"It disgusts me to see the game the way it looks / Its a must I redeem my name and haters get mushed," he raps, but the conviction is gone. In "Without Me" he sounded like the fresh young kid the rap game needed; seven years later, it sounds like he's seen hip-hop go to shit, and now feels obligated to come save it as one of its elder statesmen. Unfortunately, a lazy single with the equally irrelevant Dr. Dre and 50 Cent guest starring just isn't the way to go about doing that.