How does one come up with such an atrocity? First, you take the worst parts of J. Holiday's [stunning] "Bed". Next, sprinkle on some of the unnecessarily descriptive nature of "Trading Places". Mix it all in a blender operated by Soulja Boy and his annoying vocal tendencies. And there you have it! "Birthday Sex"!
I keep telling myself this has to be a parody of all the R. Kelly rip-offs that have been happening recently. The subject matter is just so ridiculous, the vocals are just so grating, that I can't imagine someone creating this as a serious piece of R&B. But look into the eyes of Jeremih (if you can see them through his douche-y sunglasses) and you'll see a completely straight face. This is for real, folks. This is R&B in 2009.
In a world where Soulja Boy has had three hit songs since "Crank Dat", this shouldn't be overly surprising. But still, remember when R&B was actually sexy? Talking about how bad your girl wants you to nail her on her birthday is not sexy. Subtly discussing how you have so much swagger that you have to warn other men not to let their girls talk to you in the club lest they leave with you and not him is sexy. To re-cap, that's R.Kelly 1, Jeremih 0.
Not to harp on the R.Kelly thing, but at least he seems self-aware of his persona. Jeremih comes off as a bratty kid who likes to sing about sex and take pictures of himself alone in his room on his cell phone. No, I don't think good R&B is lost forever, just like good rap isn't lost forever because of Soulja Boy's existence. But damn, it's just getting harder to find.