Thursday, May 14, 2009

Billboard Thursday: Sean Kingston - "Fire Burning"

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Somebody call 9-1-1, this song sucks!
I will readily admit that Sean Kingston's latest track is likely a grower, and a week from now it'll probably be booming from my headphones. But tonight I'm all about first impressions, and my first impression of "Fire Burning" is that it blows hard. My reasons for this are as follows:

Reason #1: The Lyrics
This is Sean Kingston we're talking about, so I acknowledge that I shouldn't be expecting Shakespeare. But seriously, just read these...

- "Hotter than the sun of south in Spain." (Lol.)
- "That birthday cake got a candle. Need to blow that crazy flame away." (Pardon?)
- "Shawty is cool like the fire." (Ponder this one. Bitch you ain't God, you can't manipulate the elements. Fire is not cold, not even that blue fire from Zelda.)
- "No exit from the dancefloor, so them boys want more." (So now the exits are blocked? Get the fuck out Kingston, stop watching this skank. Plus, don't even act like you're going to put that cheeseburger down long enough to dance with this ho.)

There's more, but I'll spare you the details. His flow is terrible, not matching the beat whatsoever, and most of it either doesn't rhyme or rhymes awkwardly.

Reason #2: The Beat
Thank you, RedOne, for producing "Just Dance". But now that you've also produced "Fire Burning" and Enrique Iglesias' comeback single (which features Ciara? WTF?), you can officially disappear. This beat sounds like a retread of a retread of a retread. Which it pretty much is.

Reason #3: Sean Kingston
Why do you still exist? Natural selection fails again.

I repeat: a week from now, "Fire Burning" will probably be in regular rotation on my iPod, or I'll at least nod in silent agreement if it comes on the radio. But today it is the bane of my existence. FML.

1 comment:

krimble said...

i just fell in love with the fact that you mentioned Zelda. just thought i would let you know.